This is exactly how I'm feeling toward Christmas right now. It has not been a great week, I'm feeling behind on all fronts and frankly a little depressed. I decided in October that making all the Christmas gifts would be a fun and creative way to give presents this year. And I think I was wrong, not that I haven't enjoyed what I have produced so far, it just that I feel the deadline looming and I'm not sure it will all get done! Secondly I'm not sure some of the recipients will really appreciate all the effort and thought that went into the gifts. Which makes me wonder why am I putting myself through this undo stress, when I could have just gone to the mall one evening and just got it done in one swoop! Maybe it is the others who I know will love what I have made them and appreciate the effort that went into them. I did make a sort conscious decision to avoid the mall with it millions of cranky shoppers and screaming unhappy children this year and have a less stressful Christmas but it appears that as not happened. I think I may have been spoiled in past years with my time in England with it's lovely shops and outdoor Christmas markets, sure it was still busy but some how had more magic than the mall. We do have a lovely downtown but it is limited, only a few nice shops but mostly lots of coffee shops and restaurants.
It isn't just the gift making that has got me down, the Christmas spirit just doesn't seem to be in the air. The bit of snow that has fallen keeps melting away. The state of the world with all the wars, credit crunching, market crashing, proroguing of Parliament and the list goes on, it doesn't really lift ones spirits. Not to mention that we went on a fruitless Christmas tree hunt today, the tree we cut down and brought back is clearly diseased( some of the needles are brown and falling off)now that all the snow has melted off it. So now I'm feeling incredibly guilty about having to go on Sunday and chop another one down.
We are also behind at work and it just seems like an impossible task to get all of those arrangements done. As well two of the ladies I work with have decided they are not doing Christmas this year. Which I just can get my head around, NO GIFTS, they are doing the whole dinner thing but both of their families have decided to not give gifts.
It brings up an interesting question do we need gifts at Christmas?
Is all this rushing around and driving ourselves crazy worth it?
I have been thinking about this all day, as I knit an sew and work my little hands to the bone. I have come to the conclusion that I personally need gifts, I need gifts at Christmas, at Birthdays, at Valentines, at Easter and just because gifts. I love gifts, I love giving gifts and love receiving gifts. I think for me it's a way of showing love, that you care for someone and that you put love and thought into what your giving. And the same on the receiving front that someone thought and cared to pick out something just for you. For me Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without gifts, the excitement and anticipation.
The shaking and feeling of wrapped presents(yes, I'm one on those) and the look on the recipient's face when you have given them something just them! With that I'm going back to work to finish all the lovely things I decided to make and was so excited to get stuck into in October. The final push is on and I'm sure I will finish on time and with maybe with only one trip to the mall for a few last minute bits. All the arrangements will be made and delivered with care. The presents will be wrapped and under the tree and on Christmas eve when it's all over I will sit back with a glass of mulled wine and think well that wasn't so bad!
P.S. yes I'm also one those people who dresses their dogs up on holidays and as you can see she is really enjoying it!